it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
tell me about the eggs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
