Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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