please come you make the beer taste better
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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