i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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