Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
