Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
