she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pants are for mortals
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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