fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You were trust falling into bushes
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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