I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
