remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
