Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
