I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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