DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
