And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
