Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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