Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize