What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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