I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
