maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
