she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
