why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize