and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
