my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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