One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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