Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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