shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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