If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
