I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize