I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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