i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you will always have a special place in my vag
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
