I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
