But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
