My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
