So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
