im drinking this country out of the recession.
love makes seman taste better
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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