Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize