I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
