:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
