He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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