their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
