I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize