we have pet lesbian snakes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
