and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
