5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize