Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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