i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize