Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
