There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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