just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
