He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize