Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
