I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of course I have a pirate flag
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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