We're like a lot better than the average bears
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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