Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
