You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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