Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
